so i'm in nyc with jarrod and we end up getting really drunk.. we start making out on the bed at the westin hotel and we ended up messing around. as soon as we finished, we went outside and he was going back to the west coast. i thought that it meant something to hook up and so i said something to him about it. he said that it didn't mean anything and he doesn't want to start anything or to be with me. i cried really hard and he was more or less sitting there and not really saying anything to me. he didn't care. it started to rain and he left me. i tried calling friends in ny and none were answering. i walked through a market with a big meat/butcher part looking for a bathroom.. couldn't find it through these long halls. then my cousin called me and left a voicemail but she was saying that she was visiting in california.

music: chelsea lately!

Rubbing salt in my wounds
Like it don't hurt, like it don't hurt me
Your sweet bitter love songs
That seduce me with a sinister beat

I'm bringing out the worst in you
It was never my intention to
That was just unfair to do
Salt in my wounds
Getting burned up
With the negative heat

How can I stay mad with you?
When I'm so in love with you

I don't know what we argue about
When all we do is scream and shout
I still believe in our love right now
And its gonna work out some how
You and me we got common ground
I'm not giving up, no

Are you looking for a way out?
Are you looking for an exit?
It seems like all the fuss you're making
Is a sign that you're not quite sure

Well, I don't recommend you to
Coz what we got's to good to lose
And I can tell you know that too
Or is it just aggravation
You're picking on me
You're rubbing salt in my wounds

How can I stay mad with you?
When I'm so in love with you

I don't know what we argue about
When all we do is scream and shout
I still believe in our love right now
And its gonna work out some how
You and me we got common ground
I'm not giving up, no

I don't know what we argue about
When all we do is scream and shout
I still believe in our love right now
And its gonna work out some how
You and me we got common ground
I'm not giving up, no

Maybe just a kind word now and then
Could turn it around and make us a happy end
But if this is it and the moment is gone
Well then I guess I must have just got it wrong

Wise as it sounds it just doesn't make sense
And as long as it takes I'm gonna keep on trying
Coz I'm not giving up on us
I'm not giving up, no

How can I stay mad with you?
I'm not giving up, no
When I'm so in love with you

I don't know what we argue about
When all we do is scream and shout
I still believe in our love right now
And its gonna work out some how
You and me we got common ground
I'm not giving up, no

No way, no way
I'm not giving up, no
No way, no way
I'm not giving up, no

bethy thinks you never know how close to death you are, and doesn't want her last thought to start with "I wish I had..."